From Fullest Bliss

One of the foundational tenets of my existence can be summarized in a line from a great old hymn from the 12th century written by Bernard of Clairvaux, “O Jesus Joy of Loving Hearts”: “From fullest bliss that earth imparts, we turn unfilled to the again.” I suppose I have been learning the truth of it my whole life, but I remember distinctly the moment when I knew in my bones the truth of this line from St. Bernard. I had had a really marvelous experience on a singing tour/mission trip to Puerto Rico, but then, reflecting on the experience, I felt a sort of emptiness, a longing for something else, a need for a new high.
We live in the Shadowlands, C. S. Lewis said, and he meant by that, I believe, that our joys in this life are always muted by the knowledge that beyond the joy lies pain, death, loss. Yet even while muting the happiness, this knowledge contributes to it, for the happiness we feel is due in part to the underlying knowledge we have that it is transitory—the party will end, the new car will rust, the loved one will die; therefore we treasure the moments of joy.
I suspect that it is the desire to hold on to a joy we can experience momentarily that fuels many addictions. The addicted consumer can only ride so long on the high that his new car gives him and then he needs another new car. It’s the same for the alcoholic, the drug addict, the food addict, the gambling addict.
This desire to hold on to joys that are ephemeral, this longing for a sustainable joy that cannot be attained in this life is a fundamental part of the human condition. Some people burn their lives out in frantic pursuit of new experiences that can give them moments of joy. But it is a futile pursuit.

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